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Archive for the ‘waiters’ Category

I miss being a waiter…

I thought I would never miss being a waiter. I just quit my serving job 2 weeks ago and I figured I’d never look back. But there are a few things about being a waiter that are really nice…

1. Cash. I never have it anymore. When I was serving I always had cash. Now I go to Tim Horton’s, reach in my wallet and wince. Then I play the dumbfounded “Oh you don’t take plastic?” card. It is quite the performance.
2.  People. Serving is a social experience. I worked with some great people and I always had fun entertaining guests.
3.  Adrenaline. There is something about being in the Saturday night rush that is exhilarating. Its like the anticipation before a big game. The opportunity for big cash, the hustle, the buzz… I actually miss it.
4.  Free Soup. My restaurant made some wicked homemade soups and as a waiter I could have free soup anytime of day. Nice perk.

But there are also things I do NOT miss…

1. People. It is hard to be a waiter for any length of time and not to develop a deep resentment for humanity. I am partly kidding, of course… partly.
2. Soup. When I first started serving I would eat two bowls a shift. After a few months you just want some solid food. I got so sick of tomato basil soup that if someone ordered it I would start twitching.
3. Eating meals in between mealtimes. Lunch should be somewhere between 12-2. When you are a waiter lunch is somewhere between 3-5. And eating dinner at 11pm is not good for you.
4. Running Food. This one might not sound that bad. And on a slow day it really isn’t bad. But on Friday night when you need to punch in a large food order for table 12 and bring the bill to 53 and coffee and tea to 61 and you just got sat on table 14… and then expo calls for hot food runners and expects you to drop everything else- it is so frustrating!

All in all serving is a good gig. If times get tough and I need to return to a day job, I will put on my apron with a smile and dig into some good homemade soup… just not the tomato basil.

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I quit my job!!!

I quit my job!!! Does this mean I landed a recurring role on a TV show? No. It means that my speaking gig (www.iengage.ca) is now paying my bills! Oh happy day!!! My last night at the restaurant was a few days before New Years Eve. So I will start 2010 on a new path. I am so excited!!! Go ask someone else for that coffee refill!!!

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bret the hitman

I think I served Bret “the hitman” Hart at my restaurant the other day. A party of seven came in and sat at table 62. He ordered A Medium-Well Rib Steak with “Smashed Potatoes”- which is exactly how I would imagine a wrestler would order mashed potatoes. Bret… if you happen to blog on wordpress and you are reading this… was that you?

I am in an audition drought. It happens every once in a while. You go from having 5 auditions in a week to one audition in 3 weeks. Bah, humbug.

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stork-bird

So tonight I audited a friends acting class. To some of you, the term ‘audit’ is the accounting equivalent of a rectal probe. Auditing an acting class isn’t as intrusive- although it can be as painful if you are watching really bad acting. Anyway, I am sitting there watching the class and I get an e-mail from my agent. He has an audition for me tomorrow at 11:40am. It is a television commercial for a big box store and I am one half of a “trendy couple.” There’s one problem- I’m working a lunch shift tomorrow that starts at 11:30am.

They say “a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush” and I think there is wisdom in that. Although I’m not sure why the bird always has to end up dead in these sayings. Like “killing 2 birds with one stone”- that’s just mean. I heard Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird- now that is impressive. Anyway, I get the concept: better to have a little that is guaranteed than to go for more and end up with nothing. My question is this: is a bird in the hand better than twenty in a bush? You see, I’ll make 50 or 60 bucks at tomorrow’s lunch shift. Do I give that up to go for the 20-30 times more that the commercial could pay?

I got this e-mail at 6:15pm. That is really short notice to get a shift covered. And who wants to cover a lunch shift? My manger already gives me a hard time because I make so many requests for time off and I know I have a bunch more requests coming… So what do I do?

I left the class early and took a walk around the block. I kept asking myself “What do I do?” Finally I went with my gut. I e-mailed my agent and told him it was too last minute and I had another obligation I could not get out of. He e-mailed me back and said “You’re fired. Just kidding.” (My agent always writes very short e-mails. He probably writes 200 a day so it’s understandable.) Anyway, I feel like I’m not missing much. Think of me tomorrow as I serve Ribs to hungry businessmen. And if you go out to eat in the near future, be good to your waiter.

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