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Archive for the ‘restaurants’ Category

I lost my voice. Laryngitis. I have spent the last two days whispering to people when I absolutely had to speak. Such was the case when I went out for Mexican food with some friends last night. The shop keeper asked me what I wanted. I motioned to my throat and whispered, “I lost my voice.” He looked at me with empathy and whispered back to me for the duration of our conversation. “Why is he whispering?” I thought to myself. He asked me what I wanted. I pointed to the picture of the fajitas. He asked me if I wanted chicken, pork or beef fajitas and then proceeded to out each animal. For ‘chicken’ he clucked his arms like he was doing the chicken dance. I wondered why my friends weren’t beside me to share the laugh. When he said ‘beef’, he pointed his fingers above his head indicating little cow horns. I couldn’t bare to see him attempt a pig and so I pointed to the chili con carne.

He hasn’t been the only whisperer. There are many many more of you out there. What is it that you are thinking? I lost my voice… you don’t have to lose yours.

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bret the hitman

I think I served Bret “the hitman” Hart at my restaurant the other day. A party of seven came in and sat at table 62. He ordered A Medium-Well Rib Steak with “Smashed Potatoes”- which is exactly how I would imagine a wrestler would order mashed potatoes. Bret… if you happen to blog on wordpress and you are reading this… was that you?

I am in an audition drought. It happens every once in a while. You go from having 5 auditions in a week to one audition in 3 weeks. Bah, humbug.

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stork-bird

So tonight I audited a friends acting class. To some of you, the term ‘audit’ is the accounting equivalent of a rectal probe. Auditing an acting class isn’t as intrusive- although it can be as painful if you are watching really bad acting. Anyway, I am sitting there watching the class and I get an e-mail from my agent. He has an audition for me tomorrow at 11:40am. It is a television commercial for a big box store and I am one half of a “trendy couple.” There’s one problem- I’m working a lunch shift tomorrow that starts at 11:30am.

They say “a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush” and I think there is wisdom in that. Although I’m not sure why the bird always has to end up dead in these sayings. Like “killing 2 birds with one stone”- that’s just mean. I heard Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird- now that is impressive. Anyway, I get the concept: better to have a little that is guaranteed than to go for more and end up with nothing. My question is this: is a bird in the hand better than twenty in a bush? You see, I’ll make 50 or 60 bucks at tomorrow’s lunch shift. Do I give that up to go for the 20-30 times more that the commercial could pay?

I got this e-mail at 6:15pm. That is really short notice to get a shift covered. And who wants to cover a lunch shift? My manger already gives me a hard time because I make so many requests for time off and I know I have a bunch more requests coming… So what do I do?

I left the class early and took a walk around the block. I kept asking myself “What do I do?” Finally I went with my gut. I e-mailed my agent and told him it was too last minute and I had another obligation I could not get out of. He e-mailed me back and said “You’re fired. Just kidding.” (My agent always writes very short e-mails. He probably writes 200 a day so it’s understandable.) Anyway, I feel like I’m not missing much. Think of me tomorrow as I serve Ribs to hungry businessmen. And if you go out to eat in the near future, be good to your waiter.

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